nerdofchaos:

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

see you all in hell

(via hotboyproblems)

sorryforpartybarackin:

do you ever look at yourself and think ‘maybe I’m not that bad looking’ and then 21 seconds later you look again and you’re like ‘oh yeah lmao’

(via hotboyproblems)